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Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

How do you know this, Sister?

My Mother Superior told me so.

But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?

Don’t be ridiculous–of course I have never taken alcohol myself

Then let me buy you a drink – if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life

How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!

I’ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know.

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.

Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman and could you put the vodka in a teacup?

Oh no! It’s not that Nun again is it?
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BOSS

A guy phones up his Boss,
but gets the bosses’ wife instead.
I’m afraid he died last week.
she explains.

The next day the
man calls again and asks for
the boss. I told you the wife replies,
he died last week.

The next day he calls again and once more
asks to speak to his boss.
By this time the wife is getting
upset and shouts, I’VE ALREADY
TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND,
YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?

He replied laughing,
I just love hearing it…

INTEL

One politician, one thief and an INTEL Manager died. They went straight to hell. Don’t ask me why hell, but not heaven.

The politician said “I miss my country. I want to call my country and see how everybody is doing there.” She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked “Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call?”.

The devil said “Five million dollars”.

The politician wrote him a check immediately and went to sit back on her chair.

The thief saw all these and was so jealous, he started screaming, “My turn! I want to call my group members, I want to see how everybody is doing there too!”

He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked “Well, devil, how much do I need to pay for the call? Make sure it’s cheap enough.”

The devil said “Ten million dollars”.

He smashed his forehead. But he still made a check and went to sit back on his chair.

The INTEL Manager was even more jealous and started screaming, “I want to call my office friends and managers too.”

He called other INTEL employees and he talked for twenty hours about cost cutting measures, stock gains, market segments, improvising, automation,… he talked and talked and talked. Finally, when he’s done he asked “Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call?”

The devil answered “Twenty dollars”.

The INTEL Manager was stunned and asked for confirmation, “Twenty dollars? Only??”

Devil said…




Calling from Hell to INTEL is a local call!