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Killing English…very funny

Principal to student…” I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette… ? ” ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Class teacher once said :

” pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!”

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once hindi teacher said….”i’m going out of the world to america..”

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“..DON’T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK..”

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dont..laugh at the back benches…otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down…..

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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said

” why is fan not oning” (ing form of on)

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teacher in a furious mood…

write down ur name and father of ur name!!

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“shhh… quiet… the principal is revolving around college”

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My manager started like this

“Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”

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“I’ll illustrate what i have in my mind” said the professor and erased the board

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“will u hang that calender or else i’ll HANG MYSELF”

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LIBRARIAN SCOLDED ,” IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE”

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Chemistry HOD comes and tells …

“My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter”

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Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

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“why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!”

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Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code..

“I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

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Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class..

“Keep quiet, the principal has passed away”

Chinese Call Centre

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to
me.. Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It’s urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But
what’s this urgent matter
about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan
was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital.
Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the
hospital, then the accident isn’t
an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for
this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That’s what I said. I’m Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh …..God…. …

From –
Good Wan!

Bathtub test…a real fun

Bathtub test…..truely amazing….enjoy

During a visit to the mental hospital, one newspaper reporter asked the
Director ‘How do you determine whether or not a patient should be
admitted
to the hospital.’

‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, then we give a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the
bathtub.’

‘Oh, I understand,’ the reporter said. ‘A normal person would use
the
bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon
or the teacup.’

‘No. the Director continued,

.

.

.

.

‘A normal person would pull the drain plug. Well……. Do you want a
bed
near the window?’