1. Rajnikant killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajnikant does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajnikant allowed to live.
4. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5 .Rajnikant can divide by zero.
6. Rajnikant can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajnikant can drown a fish.
8. Rajnikant can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajnikant once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajnikant once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajnikant once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajnikant can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajnikant can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajnikant can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajnikant can make onions cry.
18. Rajnikant destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajnikant can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajnikant has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajnikant will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajnikant did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajnikant once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajnikant can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajnikant never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajnikant was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajnikant can talk about Fight Club.
28. Rajnikant doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
30. Rajnikant kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajnikant does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
32. Rajnikant has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajnikant doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajnikant.
34. Rajnikant knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajnikant stares at it.
36. Rajnikant can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
37. Rajnikant kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajnikant because you don’t find Rajnikant; Rajnikant finds you.
39. Rajnikant gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajnikant leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajnikant once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajnikant electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajnikant killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajnikant can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajnikant puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
46. Rajnikant goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajnikant can handle the truth.
48. Rajnikant can speak Braille.
49. Rajnikant can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks.
50. Rajnikant can teach an old dog new tricks.
51. Rajnikant calls Voldemort by his name.
52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajnikant did.
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajnikant. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
54. Rajnikant got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
55. Rajnikant’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikant.
56. Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
57. The last time Rajnikant killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
58. Rajnikant once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
59. Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
60. Rajnikant can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
61.Rajnikant can lick his elbows.
62. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
63. Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
64. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
65. Rajnikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajnikant takes this as a personal insult.
67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikant could use to kill you, including the room itself.
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajnikant was born.
69. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikant. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
70. When Rajnikant is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
71. Rajnikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
72. Rajnikant knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajnikant.
74. Rajnikant sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
75. As a child when Rajnikant had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
76. Rajnikant collects Honey from his private Moon – HoneyMoon.
77. Rajnikant can answer a missed call.
78. Rajnikant doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
79. Rajnikant’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.
80. Rajnikant doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajnikant.
82. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajnikant’s fist.
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way.
84. Rajnikant’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
85. Rajnikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”.
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikant was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
88. Once a cobra bit Rajnikant’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
89. Rajnikant is a champion in the game “Hide n’ seek”, as no one can hide from Rajnikant.
90. Rajnikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
91. Rajnikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikant is on.
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajnikant.
94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajnikant.
95. Rajnikant’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
96. Rajnikant does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
97. When Rajnikant plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
98. Rajnikant is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
99. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.