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clean and neat jokes

A Drunk man points towards sky and asks another drunk: Is it sun or moon?

Second Drunk: I can’t say what it is, because I am also new in the town.

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Laloo: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.

Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.

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Musharraf joined Pakistani army and was given a gun.

Musharraf asked his Officer: Sir, to what side should I point its nozzle, towards myself or to the opposite side.

Officer: Stupid, keep it anyway, in both the cases it will benefit the nation.
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Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?

Husband: No dear.

Wife: I’m sure you would.

Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.

Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?

Husband: Ya, I guess so.

Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.

Husband: No, she is taller than you.

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A Pakistani army soldier walks into his officer’s room.

To impress him, the army office picks the phone, dials a number and said “Yes sir, I understand sir. I will tell the Prime Minister. Goodbye.”

Looking at the soldier he barked “What do you want?”
“Nothing sir.” he replied. “I just came to install your telephone.”

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Girlfriend: I can’t marry you. I am one year elder to you.

Boyfriend: Very Good, I love you so much that I can wait for you for one year.
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A Haryanvi Tau buys a ticket for Rs 100 and wins the lottery of 1 crore. He goes to claim it.

Haryanvi Tau: I want Rs 1 crore.

Lottery Agent: We give you 10 lakh today. The rest amount will be paid in next 6 months.

Haryanvi Tau: Oh, no! I want all my money right now. If you don’t do it today, then I want my Rs 100 back.

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School Kid: Why are some of your hair white mom?

Mom: Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hair turns white.

Funny Kid thought for a moment, and then said, “Mamma, how come *all* of grandma’s hair are white?”

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Pakistani: My boy is growing up, he is adult and wants to go out and enjoy with sweet girlfriends.

Indian: My boy is past that. He wants to stay indoors with his sweet girlfriends.

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