1. When someone says “have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
2. Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
3. Dance naked in front of your pets.
4. Put your toddler’s clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong.
5. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals.
6. Leaf through “National Geographic” and draw underwear on the natives.
7. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
8. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
9. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
10. Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
11. Polish your car with earwax.
12. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
13. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
14. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
15. Make up a language and ask people for directions in it.
16. Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and put it back in he wrapper.
17. Bill your doctor for time spent in his waiting room.
18. Do your assignments in binary code.