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Liar !

Wife asks husband “Honey, Pepsi is over can you please bring it from the mall”

Husband goes outside and lands up in a Bar! After a couple of drinks he meets a hot girl who then takes him to her house.

They make wild love and the husband falls asleep. Suddenly the husband wakes up in the mid night. He takes the girls makeup powder applies all over his hands and rushes to his house.

“Where you have been?” his wife asks when he entered the house.

“Dear, i cannot lie to you. I was going to bring Pepsi, then i entered in a bar drunk a lot and met a hot girl. Then we went to her house and made love” tells husband.

By looking at the powder all over his hands, wife shouts back “You Idiot, you cannot cheat me ! I know you were playing pool!!”

Just for confirmation !

Husband sends an SMS to his wife “Hi Honey, Im in a bar with some friends, Make sure you wash all my dirty clothes and prepare my favorite dish before i return”.

After a while he sends another SMS “Hi Dear, i forgot to tell you that, i got a promotion at work and will buy a new jewellery for you this month end”.

“OMG, Really! thats a great news” wife texts back.

“Not actually, i just wanted to confirm that you got my first message” Husband replies.

My TV not working !

A Poor husband tells his friend “My 28 inches TV is not working since my wife left me”.

Amazed friend asks “Oh no, but how your TV not working is related to your wife?”

“Well my TV used to be 56 inches, but my wife wanted half of everything !!” replies the sad husband.