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Office Jokes

If you do not succeed

If at first you do succeed try not to look astonished.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
If at first you don’t succeed, give up, no use being a damn fool.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
If at first you don’t succeed, quit; don’t be a nut about success.
If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If at first you don’t succeed, try a shorter bungee.
If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.

If companies start manufacturing condoms

Nokia Condoms ? Connecting People
Mrf Condoms- Extra Rubber Extra Mileage
Philips Condoms ? Lets Make Things Better
Onida Condoms ? Neighbours Envy Owners Pride
Thumps Up Condoms- Taste The Thunder
Coca Cola Condoms ? Eat Condom, Sleep Condom; Wear Only Coca Cola Condom
Amul Condoms ? A Gift For Someone You Love
Panama (Cigar) Condoms – Nothing Between You And Me
Siemens Condoms ? Communication Unlimited
Polo Condoms ? Condom With A Hole.

FUNNY MATHEMATICS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

____________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

_____________________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.