Don't Miss
Home / Jokes / Office Jokes (page 10)

Office Jokes

Learn JAVA and go to heaven

Once an old man was sitting in the park reading book “Learn Java in 21 Days”. A passer by saw him and asked, “U are such an old man, why do you bother to learn Java?” “I have heard that the communication language in heaven is Java and so after my death when I will be in heaven, I don’t want to face any communication problem.” the old man replied.

“But how come U are so sure that U will be in heaven? U could in hell also.” he asked. “Ya, it doesn’t matter then …. I already know COBOL”.

Help Desk (Bachelor 7.0 to wife 1.0)

To,

Dear (IT) Technical support

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Bachelor 7.0 to wife 1.0 and found that the new program took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This was not mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Late Night Parties 2.5, and Sunday cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday OGA Club 6.3 always fails, but Saturday shopping 7.1 runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the back ground whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Bachelor 7.0, but uninstall doesn’t work on this program.

Can you please help?
Subba Rao

—————————————————————————————————-
Reply from Technical support.

Dear Subba Rao,

This is a common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Bachelor 7.0 to wife 1.0 thinking that wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run
everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge wife 1.0 and still
convert back to bachelor 7.0 as wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed.

Some people have tried to install Bachelor 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under Alimony/ Child support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I recommend you to keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any fault or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run C:\I APOLOGIZE program and avoid attempting to use *Esc-key.

It may be necessary to run C:\I APOLOGIZE a number of times, but
hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program but can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Sarees 2.0 and Jewellery 5.0.

Regards.

Rajini’s quote to all IT developers – Good one. So funny!!!!!

Our super star the ultimate incomparable rajini going to act as a project manager in his next flim so our guys create a punch dialogue for him hw is it? Rajini’s advice to all Project Managers

“Commitment should be there, not commotion, pressure should be there, but should not be panicky, softness should be there, should not shout like this “… On a whole a manager should be a manager, not a damager.You know one thing; Faulty Design document is the root cause for all Bugs”. Rajini starts to leave the place but turns once again

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST!!….

“Highly tensioned Project Manager or a lengthy coding Programmer can never complete a project successfully”.