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Husband Wife Jokes

This is the one

A Man enters into his bedroom with a Sheep in his hands.

His wife was lying on the bed and reading a book.

“This is the Pig i kissed to when you were asleep” the man says.

“See it properly and you’ll find it is a Sheep not a Pig” wife replies.

“Better you understand that i am talking to this Sheep not to you!!” the man replies.

Liar !

Wife asks husband “Honey, Pepsi is over can you please bring it from the mall”

Husband goes outside and lands up in a Bar! After a couple of drinks he meets a hot girl who then takes him to her house.

They make wild love and the husband falls asleep. Suddenly the husband wakes up in the mid night. He takes the girls makeup powder applies all over his hands and rushes to his house.

“Where you have been?” his wife asks when he entered the house.

“Dear, i cannot lie to you. I was going to bring Pepsi, then i entered in a bar drunk a lot and met a hot girl. Then we went to her house and made love” tells husband.

By looking at the powder all over his hands, wife shouts back “You Idiot, you cannot cheat me ! I know you were playing pool!!”

Just for confirmation !

Husband sends an SMS to his wife “Hi Honey, Im in a bar with some friends, Make sure you wash all my dirty clothes and prepare my favorite dish before i return”.

After a while he sends another SMS “Hi Dear, i forgot to tell you that, i got a promotion at work and will buy a new jewellery for you this month end”.

“OMG, Really! thats a great news” wife texts back.

“Not actually, i just wanted to confirm that you got my first message” Husband replies.