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Best of the Funniest Santa Banta Jokes

Santa asks conductor Should I Buy Tickets For My Children?
Conductor: Yes! Only If They Are Above 8.
Santa: Thank God ,I Have Only 6 Children..!!

History teacher asked Santa Name kalidas’s brother who was a shoemaker.
Santa: Adidas

Salesman-Which Soap U Use?
Santa-BABA’S Soap,BABA’S Paste,BABA’S Brush.
Salesman-Is BABA’S
Santa: Baba Is My Room Mate

Santa’s wife died. He is calm and silent. But some guy was crying like anything!
Santa asks someone, “Who is he ? Why he is crying like that”
“Your wife lover” that person replies
Then Santa went to that guy and tells “Don’t worry friend, I will marry again”.

Judge: Y U’ve robbed dis man?
Santa: My lord I’ve nt robbed. He gave by himself
Judge: Whn He gave U money ?
Santa: Whn I showd him gun

Santa Banta Watching Match and Dhoni hits a Six
Santa: Wow Goal
Banta: You will be an idiot for life, Cricket has goals not Football

Santa: What is the best place to propose girls ?
Banta: Temples
Santa: Why?
Banta: Because they will not be wearing chappals in temples!

Santa: I Got BMW for my marriage
Banta: Good, show it
Santa calls his wife
Banta: But it is your wife
Santa: Idiot, BMW Means Bahut Moti Wife

Santa: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18 yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Banta: Govt knows that its easy to maintain a country than a Wife

Santa: Yaar ye “SENT MESSAGE” Kya hota he?
Banta: Pata nahin
Santa: Bevkuf, Tune Hi Sardaro Ka Nam Kharab Kia He. Sent Message Matlab “Khushbu Wala Message..

Santa deeply looking at an ice piece
Banta: What are you looking at?
Santa: I am checking from where it is Leaking!

Santa’s girfriend: My mom Likes you a loot
Santa, after a deep thought: Whatever i will marry You only

Salesman: Sir, would you like to buy powder for cockroaches
Santa: Noo noo.. We don’t love cockroaches that much, If we give powder today, they will ask snow tomoro !

Santa: I Cannot marry you
GF: Why
Santa: My family members are objecting
GF: which members
Santa: My wife and children

Santa:30 feet snake will be shown in tv today
Banta: Okay, but i cannot see it
Santa: Why:
Banta: My TV is of only 21 inches

Santa: Your Friend is Dead, why didn’t you go
Banta: That idiot didn’t invite me

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.
Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

Santa: My wife died yesterday.. Im trying to cry but tears are not come out, what to do?
Banta: No Problem. Just Imagine she Came Back.

Santa: Wat Is The Name Of Your Car?
Banta: I Forgot The Name,But Its Starts With ‘T’
Santa: Oh Wow, then you can save lot of my if it starts with Tea!

Judge: Your guilty is proved, so you will be hanged tomoro
Santa: Thats ok, but when will you get me down

Santa: Who is the most saddest person in the world
Banta: panipuri wala !
Santa: Why?
Banta: No matter whether a girl is married or unmarried they call him Bhaiyya (brother)

Santa: A man was fighting with a woman yesterday, i went to him and told “If you can fight with a man”
Banta: Then
Santa: When i got up, i was in a Hospital!

Santa was sad one day, Banta asked him why
Santa: I bought a laptop but its of no use now
Banta: Why
Santa: They asking me to Put Windows in it, but it is very small

A Hotel owner found Santa is cleaning the basin, he went to him and asked Sir why are you doing this
Santa: Oye, you only wrote here “Wash Basin”

Santa: Will you come to my marriage ?
Banta: I am not the kind of person, who will not stay with a friend when he is in deep trouble, I will definitely come

Santa gave a tight slap to Banta
Banta: Did you hit me Seriously or for Fun ?
Santa: Seriously
Banta: Then its ok, I don’t like someone making Fun at me

Santa travelling in a flight for the first time.
Immedialy when the first tyre went into air, he started beating Pilot and said “I was already scared, and you r doing stunts” ?

Once Santa went to Banta house and knocks the door
Banta: Who ?
Santa: Me
Banta: Me, Who?
Santa: You are Banta!!

One beautiful girl accidentaly touches Santa and says “I am Sorry”
Santa replies “Hello, I am Santa, Its very pleasant to meet you Miss Sorry”

Once Santa took a photo outside but a Donkey too came in that picture
While sending the photo to Banta, Santa quoted “I am on Left Side”

Santa’s son had an accident and doctor says, We have to remove both of his legs
Santa became very depress and collapges, Doctor asks him what happend ?
Santa says, Yesterday itself i bought him a Cycle and he wasted it!

One day Banta saw Santa eating Roti and feeding his hen too with roti.
Banta: Why are you doing that?
Santa: Doctor told me that its healthy to eat Roti with Chicken!

Santa: How was your History exam ?
Banta: Very Bad!
Santa: Why?
Banta: How would i know the answers of questions which happend before my Birth?

Teacher: Did you do your Home Work ?
Santa: No Teacher
Teacher: Why ?
Santa: Teacher, I stay in Hostel, how can i do Home work ?

Santa joined in a driving school
Banta: How are your classes, did you learn something
Santa: Oh Yeah, i can horn very well now a days!

Santa tells a girl “I Love you”
Girl: I will go and tell this to Principal
Santa: Idiot, he is already married

Santa gave a tight slap to Banta
Banta: Why did u hit me, what Mystake i did ?
Santa: Idiot, i don’t have time until you do a Mystake

Santa went into a graveyard in a night for cycling, Next day he said to Banta “Arre..What kind of road was that! Those many diffciult speed breakers”

Santa: Banta, don’t put mobile charging while sleeping at night?
Banta: y?
Santa: sometimes, battery may blast.
Banta: Yah. I know. That’s y I am removing battery from mobile while charging…

Santa’s one leg bone got broken, He went to a hospital and sees a person with both legs broken. Santa asks him “Do you have two wifes??”

In a hotel Santa started eating tissue paper on the plate.
Banta replied from a distance “Oye don’t eat, its tasteless”.

Santa and Banta stated a Petrol Pump, they waited for weeks but not even one customer came.
Why ? “Their petrol pump is in First floor”

Ek Raat ek Chor, ek Sardar k Ghar me Ghus gaya aur bola: SONA kaha hai?
Sardar: Ullu k patthe, pura Ghar khaali hai kahi bhi jaake SOJA

Santa one day had very short hair cut, Banta asked why?
Santa: That Barber was short of 5 rupees change, i told him Cut more for those 5 rupees!

Santa and Banta went to a picnic and found that they forgot Pepsi at home
Santa: Go and bring pepsi within an hour
Banta: If you promise me that you don’t eat Samosa then i go
Santa: Ok
Santa waited one hour, two hours, three and with hunger took a Samosa to eat in his hand
Banta jumped up from behind and said “I know what you are a cheater, thts why i didn’t go”

Santa: Why Sun do not come in the night ?
Banta: How do you know? It may be coming, but we cannot see in this night Darkness!

Junior Santa: Miss, did you call me last night?
Teacher: Noo why?
Junior Santa: In my mobile, it said Miss Call!

Teacher: How much is 2-2
Junior Santa: I couldn’t understand Sir
Teacher: If you have two rotis and if you eat two rotis, what will you have
Junior Santa: Curry Sir!

Santa: When i was a kid, once i fell down from Eiffel tower
Banta: Really? did you die or saved ?
Santa: Idiot, how would i know, i was only a kid then!

Santa: I checked yesterday that i don’t have any iron in my Body
Banta: How did you check?
Santa: I checked with a Magnet, it was not sticking to me

One day Santa was trying to insert a Dog’s tail into a pipe
Banta:Idiot, However you try, you can’t make a dog’s tail straight
Santa: I know that, but i am trying to bend the pipe!!

Santa: Do you know ? I was stuck in an Elevator for 10 mins due to power failure
Banta: You are soo lucky! I was stuck on an Escalator for 30 mins due to power failure !!!

Santa bought a Shampoo bottle and asked the sales man for free gift
Salesman: There is no gift for this
Santa: Don’t cheat me, its written here “Dandruf Free”

Santa: If i climb this tree, can i see Engineering college girls ??
Banta: Definitely, if you jump from there you can also see Medical college girls !!

Santa: My Wife ran away with my friend
Banta: Then you must be very depressed
Santa: Yesss, I am missing my Friend a Looot!!

Santa: Which is the biggest Challenge you ever gave to someone ?
Banta: I left the answer sheet blank and challenged validator “Pass me if you can”!!

Santa: I forgot my purse at home, i need 1000 rupees urgently
Banta: I can understand your problem, take this 10 rupees go and get your purse!!

Santa: So you learned MS Office, What do you want do do now ??
Banta: Now i learn MS Home !!!

Santa: Last night thieves stole everything in my house except TV
Banta: How Strange! Then wht were you doing ??
Santa: I was watching TV !!

Santa: Arre Yaar, it took me 4 hours for me to return from my uncles home
Banta: Why? You went there just in One hour
Santa: Yeah, but my car has only one Reverse Gear !!

Santa: Someone was irritating me by sending dirty messages
Banta: What did you do ?
Santa: I changed my number and sent him message “Now you cant send me message”

Santa: I lost my purse yesterday, there was 2000 rupees in it
Banta: Don’t lie there was only 1000, i counted when i went home !
Santa: Its not about the money, Find that person !!

Santa send msg to Banta “I am Sick, Not feeling well”
Banta replied “When i am Sick, I Kiss my wife, you too try”
after a while Santa replied “Thanks for Suggestion, Your wife is sooo Sweeet” !!!

Santa: Today is my GF’s birthday, what should i give her ??
Banta: How does she look ?
Santa: Very Beautiful
Banta: Then give her my number !!!

Santa and Banta lost their wives in a festival and met at one point
Santa: How does your wife look?
Banta: Very beautiful, tall, slim and perfect size
Santa: Then lets go and search for your wife !!!

Sad Santa: Today i failed to write an essay on dog
Banta: why?
Santa: I tried a loot, but the dog Ran away !!

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